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When I was a kid, the second thing I ever wanted to do was play major league baseball. (The first thing was to be an astronaut) I had it planned out. I would be the starting catcher and I would have been in the mold (at the time) of Gary Carter. I just knew that's what I'd do. Well, a broken thumb when I was 13 made me second guess myself and I didn't play when I was 14. I didn't play because during the registration period I just felt depressed and didn't want to play that year. The broken thumb also broke my spirit. But during the season, I wished I would have played so badly. I did play when I was 15, but I had lost the edge, the killer instinct. Two years away from the game held me back.



But I still loved the game. I loved watching, playing and analyzing baseball. You see unlike any other sport, I believe that baseball is the greatest game ever invented. It is the only game where you can be considered excellent if you are successful 30% of the time. Baseball is such a game of percentages, that managers switch pitchers to increase by 5% the chance of getting a batter out. But for a manager who plays these percentages right, it means the difference of winning 90 games as opposed to winning 85. Those 5 wins can mean the difference between making the playoffs, and not making the playoffs.



In line with that minuscule probability edge, is the steroid drama. You take a player who is good or even great, and when he takes steroids, it makes him just a little better. Maybe a ball he would have hit 340 feet for a long out now goes 350 feet for a home run. Maybe a pitch that would have been thrown 93 miles per hour and is hit for a base hit, is thrown 95 miles per hour and is a strike out.



The bottom line is; greed. The difference between 15 wins and 11 wins as a pitcher, or 3.50 ERA instead of 4.00 ERA is probably $3-5 million per year. The difference between hitting .275 with 25 home runs and .300 with 35 home runs is probably $3-5 million per year as well. That doesn't include endorsements and the prestige of the all-star game. Most people would say that its not worth it to cheat and risk everything you've worked for. But there are many people who would say that it IS worth it.



As the Mitchell Report shows, at least 80 players considered the risk to be worth it. Undoubtedly, many more players cheated than were implicated in the report. Cheating is not just happening in baseball. It is track and field (Marion Jones), cycling (Floyd Landis and possibly Lance Armstrong), professional wrestling (if you can call it professional or wrestling) and many other Olympic and professional sports. The stigma of cheating covers most sports. But baseball was synonymous with apple pie and America. It was the game of the heartland. The game that I love, and apparently the worst offender in steroid cheating. (with maybe the exception of pro wrestling)



To have this sport to be ripped apart by this scandal is hard for me. Honestly, I knew that there were issues, but it is hard to put together all the emotions of this. Being an adult and having been scarred and hardened by the world, I know that there are cheaters in every facet of life. I am glad that I am older now. I am glad that I am not the 8 year old I was when I imagined being the Mets catcher for 15 years, being a perennial all-star and home run king and world series champion and everything kids dream of. I don't know how I would feel to see my heroes destroyed by their own doing. The cheating environment of our nation has become accepted. It goes from average people to our sports stars, to celebrities to our political leaders. How far our nation has fallen.



"The LORD abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are his delight." (Proverbs 11:1)